I hardly have time for sleep and I'm usually too exhausted to sleep (yea, it's possible) but somehow... somehow last night I managed to fall asleep and lucid dream at the same time.

I usually always have realistic dreams (which I can remember weeks, months later) yet I rarely have sex dreams. But last night it was a bit of both; a realistic sex dream- I didn't think it possible.


So who was the object of my affection? Curtis Stone, the Australian hottie from Celebrity Apprentice and about 2 dozen cooking shows.

Unfortunately, it wasn't mind blowing sex. There was a lot of lead-up that made me want nothing more than him but when we were finally in the act.... he lost his erection!

Curtis Stone lost his erection! What kind of dream is that? It's more of a nightmare! I mean, my dreams should be dreamlike, everything should happen that doesn't happen in real-life. But there was so much realism it hurt. Life sucks, and the fact this happens in real life and NOW in dreams, sucks!

Now, I don't know how to decipher dreams and right now, I don't have the time nor the energy nor the desire to google (all I want to do is go back to bed) but here's the basic premise of the dream.

Sexy 6'4" Curtis is a roommate (at my parents house?!) but only for a brief period. He works until the early mornings like 3 am. Every time we see one another there is a lot of sexual tension, basically, we flirt whenever possible. I had planned on finally fucking him right when he got home but I waited a few hours and woke him up when the sun was starting to come up.

We go at it, heavy petting and kissing and then I straddle him. We start fucking and it feels fantastic, but within a minute it starts to feel fucking awful, he then goes soft and just slips out completely. He says it is because he's just tired but I'm feeling pretty self-conscious and wondering if I'm "too loose", and then he kicks me out of his room. He loses his erection and kicks me out! The rest of the dream I keep trying to fuck him again but he wants nothing to do with me.

What kind of fucking dream is that? A crap one! Especially with such a hot piece of ass as Curtis Stone.

If I were to dream-weave or some bullshit, why would I have horrible sex and low self-esteem in a dream? Is it because my husband is away and I'm worried he'll sleep around? Is it because I'm worried I'll sleep around? Is it because even in my dreams I can't successfully cheat on my husband because I love him too much and I feel so guilty about just the thought of it I make the sex the worst possible sex? Why do I still follow him around even though the sex was garbage? I guess I just like to rub salt in my wounds.

It's just all so depressing. A sex dream should be a good dream, especially when it's a dream with an Australian God. I'll let it slide... but I'm telling you, if I ever dream about Alexander SkarsgÄrd, it better be fucking good.