Corsets were designed to prevent women from talking... and pretty much breathing. True story. No, the corset was just another fashion flair used to signify wealth and beauty, but even after centuries of wear, some of us still have trouble accepting that beauty is pain.

When it comes to lingerie, shoes, and even jeans I'm continuously aware of how painful they can be. Pinched flesh in the achieve to look good is nothing new to me. When the Polka-dot mesh corset by Coquette arrived I expected a lot of pinching. So much so that I avoided it for a month (okay, so I really went through a depressive slump and was like fuck all to sex and all things sexy... but still! avoidance was obvious) so when I finally to put it on for a little "slap and tickle" with the husband I was met by only a little bit of pinching, a little bit of not being able to move my upper body, and a lot of elasticity.

A corset with elastic? What is this world coming to! I have to admit, this is the first time I've ever received a corset that didn't tie up in the back. See, tie up corsets give me the chance to customize the fit because my body is far from perfect; I gain weight, I lose weight, and my midsection is overall and will forever be lumpy (that's the real joy of motherhood)- but this corset had a Hook-and-eye back closure, LIKE A BRA. For some women this will be sheer disappointment because while it has 2 different rows (roughly a 1/2" difference) you can use to close, you have to actually buy the corset close to your size instead of buying a random size and praying it fits. I have had corsets sizes smaller than I actually am thrust at me, and those lace-up backs have allowed me the chance to "make it work", I've also shelled out tons of bucks for nonreturnable pretty corsets and many times, they haven't fit (and AGAIN, those lace-up backs have allowed me to still wear it) but this time, the Polka-dot mesh corset had to be the right size else I was shit out of luck.

Okay, so my situation wasn't that dire thanks to the fact the mesh/rayon material has give (we'll praise the 18% of spandex) and it has a 1" wide elastic band going around the midsection that allows it to be stretched out--- but I have to show my discontent for the lack of lacing and smaller sizing somehow. Now, for women (who unlike me) have a fairly smooth, flat abdomen without a lot of bumps and chunk and are consistent in their sizing (some clothes I'm a L others I'm a 2XL, I rue the day I could be a universal S/M), the extreme elasticity and hook-and-eye back means that you're going to get a fairly fantastic fit. Unlike me, where I get a fairly good fit in the waist/hips but my tits pour out the top and I have major back cleavage (the way to fix this: have a friend insert their thumbs into the cheeky dimple where the loose skin bunches up and smooth it out by moving their thumbs in opposite directions- working in Bridal gowns has paid off a little).

Now, with a LOT of fussing, I can get the girls looking okay but the majority of the time due to how tight the upper back was and how unfitted the cups were, my tits flopped out or a serious amount of aureole was showing. When it comes to bras and corsets, either you offer some molded cups or you don't offer anything at all. These semi-soft, semi-structured cups did little to hold up my breasts or offer shaping. Instead of offering a rounded shape (because breasts are meant to go UP) they offered an oval shape (which made them go ACROSS). I want a circular looking breast that has people questioning whether or not they're real, NOT boobs that look wide/flat/saggy/severely misshapen and have people questioning my age. (But for the sake of an aroused husband and pictures I'm not ashamed to publish, I did a lot of pulling/pushing/tucking/and shaping to get that nice round shape I love.)

(Thanks to the tight bust and poorly constructed cups, my breasts often look odd shaped and way too much aureole shows because I can't achieve the right fit. With the corset off my breasts are the same size, I promise!)

While the cups and hook-and-eye closure are deal breakers for some, this corset certainly has its positives! For starters, the boning is made out of extremely flexible plastic and shaped a little bit... but not much. I've been steering away from steel boning (while it gives the shape I want, I'm tearing the corset off after 5 minutes) so plastic boning offers more comfort and the ability to wear the garment for longer while still offering some sort of structure. The Polka-dot mesh corset's boning was padded *much like the REALLY nice bras with smart under-wiring* to prevent the boning from ripping through the material, the satin backing and velvet fronting padding also added comfort and to the overall aesthetics, this was an uber smart move on Coquette's part.

I love pin-up based lingerie, I think I was born 20 years too early, so anything that has a retro feel has me drooling. The wide ruffles at the top and the wide ruffles at the bottom were absolutely adorable and definitely gave this a centerfold look. I did find that the sheer size of the ruffles diminished the effect of how big my breasts can look, but for women with smaller busts, they'd give the illusion that you're working with a lot more than you actually are. The ruffles at the bottom gave me that hourglass shape I craved without making my hips looking too big (and with these love-handles, that's a hard to master feat). For women who have a boyish figure with barely-there curves, this corset gives the impression you're shapely. (You want proof? Look at the on-site plastic mannequin!) The shiny satin bows and velvet boning added a nice contrasting to the matte mesh but unfortunately, the velvet polka-dots were a little hard to see- you'd have to be inspecting this to tell. But let's face it- I aint wearing this for the polka dots!

As with all corsets worth purchasing, the Polka-dot mesh corset offers garters. Not cheap plastic garters either, but quality elastic and metal garters. Unfortunately the rubber backings which are used to hold up the stockings come out easily (as they aren't secured into place!) and I've already lost one. While I love the metal sliders (that have teeth!) used to increase/decrease the length of the garters, the horrible rubber/metal closure used to hold up thigh highs are useless. Thankfully, both the rubber backings and the garter straps themselves are removable so you can replace them with different garter straps or choose not to wear garters at all.

While there are reviewers out there who can (and I'm so jealous they can) sing sweet serenades for this, my tune changes every time I try to wear it. Some days I love it and feel beyond sexy.... and some days I feel fat and am reminded I need to lose weight. I love the mesh material, it feels plush, it looks classy, and it stretches to fit! (Just make sure you purchase the corset in your size else you'll have the issues I had!) But the rubber backing on the garter strap closures and the shape/lack of structure in the bra cup was an absolute disaster! Overall, the Polka-dot mesh corset has the potential to be a major hit or a major miss- it just depends if you see the glass half empty or see the glass half full.

product picture
Corset by Coquette
Material: Mesh