I haven't been sleeping well. I've been running on 3 or 4 hours a night and my sleep schedule is so absolutely distorted. Staying up till 4, 7, 11 am... yesterday I was up till 1 pm till I just crashed on the couch and slept for a few hours.

Besides not sleeping I've gained weight and I've totally avoided having sex. I also haven't had the energy to use any sex toys, which is a first. I'm burning myself out on every part of my life, including sleeping. And I have no idea why! Is it possible to lose disinterest in.... life?

Yesterday I got a wake-up call that I need to become more involved in all parts of my life, including being a parent.

My son is 4 and I've done all I can to help him be "cool"- all the awesome character shirts, new lightup shoes... but I'm missing something. He told me that all his friends at school "hate him" and "call him a loser". He's had a lot of problems fitting in, he stayed home with me for 2 years and missed out on crucial social interaction. When he finally got into his daycare school his ADHD was very bad and I did all I could to help him cope with his high energy levels before and after school. I still had reports every day from his teachers saying he disrupted nap time, didn't eat his lunches, and goofed off.

Within the past few weeks I've gotten notes that said he "exposed himself" to the class- he mooned his friends, and has generally been acting up by trying to be silly and making jokes. He's trying to fit in but doesn't know how, and this is after being in "school" for over a year. He also was being bullied by a kid at school and believe this, this kid is 4 and brought a box cutter to daycare to kill students, including my son. WTF. The jail rapist in training kid doesn't go there anymore but my son still experiences the kids being aggressive toward him and one of his "friends" took a pair of craft scissors to his new Spiderman shirt.

What the hell is it with kids these days? 4 year olds shouldn't be selfconcious about themselves. 4 year olds also shouldn't try to assault each other with sharp objects. Is it because we've exposed them to more adult content and stopped treating them as children? I've really tried to shelter my guy but he still indulges in "big boy" things like the first Transformers movie, Nintendo DS, and kid friendly websites. We've made sure to keep our sex life, sex toys, and adult behavior behind closed doors so he hasn't been exposed to anything he shouldn't have been.

I partially blame my lack of a social life. Both my husband and I have only had time to socialize at work and my son hasn't been able to experience his parents being amongst a large group of people. We go out to dinner with just our son, do everything with just the 3 of us, and he hasn't seen family since Christmas when we went to my sister's for a few days. We aren't lonely but I know it's having a negative effect on what my son thinks is acceptable when you're in social situations. His grandparents also haven't called him or tried to contact him in 11 months.

I just don't know what to do. I cried when he told me they called him a loser, and I don't know if I can fix this. This is one owie that I don't know how to make better.