I've been all over the place lately. I haven't had time for my husband and he hasn't had any time for me yet last night.. we found time for each other and I'm glad we did.

I didn't expect much. Usually, it sucks. I can be honest; he hasn't been passionate and neither have I, it seems like we really haven't been feeling it... but last night, I don't know, something just happened.

Maybe I'll thank the Nexus iStim that Edenfantasys just sent me but it didn't really do much for me (the review is coming soon), however, the thought of it and the fact I had a dream the night before about its potential, was enough to leave me ready for anything but boring.

So he put the electrode pads on my thighs and I waited breathlessly in anticipation. What happened was a little bit of a tickle with absolutely no vaginal contractions, stimulation, or orgasmic potential of any kind. Yet I was worked up thinking about this new product. So worked up that the fact it didn't do much for me didn't matter. He laid down next to me, clearly unamused, and said "what should I be excited about, it's not like I'm receiving any sort of pleasure from this". All I could think was what an asshole he was!

Yet as mad as I was about how selfish he can be, the night turned into something that was fully and completely all about him. I worked him up with my hands, just playing, teasing. Yet somehow and this hardly ever happens, I had my mouth on him. And I was actually enjoying giving him head. I do NOT hate giving blowjobs but I hate giving him head. Mainly because he's so big, I experience TMJ, and he's completely unappreciative. So I'm working my mouth and my jaw isn't clicking or locking up for the first time in years.

I'm rubbing his balls and then my hands slip south. I press my finger against his asshole and first he makes this sound like "No", but I feel his hand pulling his ass cheek apart. I press my finger harder against his ass and he pulls his cheek further apart. It won't go in, just a lot of pressure and I realized, "hey, I want to get some lube so it will." So I motion for the silicone lubricant on the night stand (yea, I'm not the type to put my lube or toys away) and he pours it into my hand. I slide my finger in and he grunts and moans, all the while I have his cock in my mouth. One finger, then two. His ass just pulling my fingers into it and then as soon as I try to take them out, he clamps down around them and I feel them quickly sucked back inside.

He tells me, "I wish you'd let me cum like this" and I laugh. Frankly, because I haven't had sex in a week and I'm just so over the bullshit of the fact he wants everything his way. Let me say right now, he hasn't kissed me the entire time nor has he touched me yet I can feel how worked up I am. Maybe its from the sex dream the night before or the fact I enjoyed giving head like a groupie at a Brett Michael's concert.

So I stop what I'm doing and I get on my knees. Beside the bed are dual bullets and I hold them against my clit. The racket they make banging against each other causes me to do something I've refused to do in entire reviewing career. He pulls his dick out of me to delay his orgam and I slide one inside, positioning it directly against my g-spot. He plunges his cock back inside of me and right there- with one bullet on my clit, one bullet on my g-spot, and his huge dick inside of me is enough to make me cum... and his orgasm follows about 10 seconds later.

How long was the entirety of our actual fucking? Probably two or three minutes and it wasn't rough or hard, just lazy strokes that wouldn't have done much for anyone.

Was it intimate? No. Did I feel connected? No. But was I worked up? Yes and it was the most worked up I've been in a long time. After years of him focusing on me for his crappy foreplay, he didn't touch me at all and it's been better for me than it has been in a long time because I never got annoyed that he wasn't doing something right- how can he fuck up if he doesn't even try?

So anyway. That's that and I'm still annoyed with him and the fact he doesn't try anymore (not like he ever really has) but we had sex and I wish it was like that every time. Disconnected and good.