Monkey Spanker video from Sleeping Dreamer on Vimeo. (I forgot I was topless when I filmed this.. a minor detail, really.)


The Monkey Spanker is a boy toy. I don't have a penis, there may be times where I wish I did, but sadly, I had to use my husband's to test this toy out. Every week the glorious people at Babeland give me a new toy to try, I decided to bite the bullet last week and pick a toy for him as opposed to myself- call it a show of affection... or a way to keep him busy while I'm online writing reviews and talking on Twitter.

The Monkey Spanker was a lot smaller than I expected. I'm not really sure what I expected though, something to get him off I guess (that's really all that matters). When it comes to toys for men I don't have high expectations, he might, but I don't. As long as it keeps him out of my hair, it's worth it. The Monkey Spanker is 6 1/4" long and the center where one would put their dick through, stretches out to 2". If you have a large shaft like my husband does it's going to be a tight fit, if you fit at all.

The center hole is surrounded by very soft, wet feeling silicone. It's somewhat sticky but also smooth and incredibly pliable. It's a thin sheath that your cock is able to penetrate easily with a lot of water-based lubricant. If you aren't using a sufficient amount of lube the silicone material of the center will just stick to your cock as you can see in the video review above.

There are graduating "steps" or ring detailing which helps to add texture to when you're moving this over your cock. My husband loved it, while it was a very slim fit, he said it was easier than using his hand. Just "spank, spank, spank" as opposed to "yank, yank, yank"..

Here are the manufacturer's Instructions for the Monkey Spanker:
For best results use Monkey Spanker when you're turned on. Monkey Spanker is designed to be used on a nice stiff dick. Best ways we know to get one of these is as follows:

1. Watch some porn- always guarenteed to get your dick as stiff as a crow bar. Lube up the spanker, turn on the vibrator and spank for England )or whichever country you're from).

2. Pull out your favourite adult mag- Looking at all those hot asses will have you harder than a Hungarian bare knickler fighter in no time. Repeat as above.

3. Get your partner in on the job- Nothing like your partner to get you ripping through the front of your trousers as soon as they say... well.. Anything as long as they haven't got any clothes on. Then lie baack and leave the spanking to them.

4. Gentle Spanking- Ease the enter silicone pad over the head of your cock. Best positioned just under your head at the top of your shaft; making small movements in that area will build into an intense orgasm in no time.

5. Handy Bonus Usage- Spanking away that morning glory so you'll be able to piss straight and put your trousers on withoug having to wait an hour before you can leave the house in the morning.

6. Tip- Use plenty of lube and vary strokes to get the maximum effect.

Happy Spanking!

According to the maker's of the Monkey Spanker, it can also double as a cock ring. We tried it and it didn't work out very well. The paddle kept moving around and hitting me in the vagina and him in the balls whenever he thrust, which was a little more than uncomfortable.

The Monkey Spanker comes with its own little bullet and 2 sets of batteries for said bullet. It vibrates fairly well and the vibrations are easily felt in the center ring. It's a little noisy but the vibrations are high whine so I didn't expect a silent bullet. There is a predesignated spot for the bullet and when you or your guy is spanking it on their cock, it stays snapped into place- there's no worry of it trying to fly out and hit you in the head while you're gettin' to it.

The only negative besides size issues is that the medical-grade material has a tendency to pick up lint and hair VERY easily. The sticky surface will attract anything floating through the air or laying on the bed, and debris will cling to the material- I had to manually pick lint off even after I washed the toy.

While I can't say how it physically felt, my husband enjoyed it which translates into me being a very happy girl. This is a toy that's fun and effective for men- the Monkey Spanker kept him locked in the bedroom for 5 minutes allowing me the time to get a few things done around the office... it's cheap too- $15 at Babeland, you really can't go wrong!