Anyone who heads to Walmart, the pharmacy, the grocery store, or listens to the really great morning radio stations- will see the tabloid covers of Rihanna and Chris Brown and hear the "big" story about how he beat the girl and he beat her bad. It was a sad day for many fans of R&B and for women in general. There are speculations floating around the internetz that he attacked her because she gave him herpes. HERPES. Was this poor, beautiful young woman's face made into mincemeat because of an STD and her partner's inability to control his rage over it?
Go ahead and click it, it will take you to the full size photo.

It got me thinking. If it's true that he did THAT to her because she gave him an STD, was he justified? Causing physical or emotional harm to someone can never be justified but if speculation reports are deemed correct than does it give him a reason for his burst of rage that resulted in one very bloody and battered young woman?

My questions are this.

If Rihanna did in fact have herpes did her partner, Chris Brown, not see the outbreaks?
  • If he did, what did he think?
  • Did she lie about what they were?

Why did she wait a year to tell him? (They've been seeing each other off and on for a long while now.. I don't follow celebrity couples religiously so my timeframe may be off.)
  • Did her symptoms just come on?
  • Did a test only just show positive for herpes around the time she told him?
  • Or did she not tell him and he found out by being tested?

They speculate that she contracted herpes after having sex with Jay-Z last year who was with Beyonce at the time. This would mean that Jay-Z cheated on his partner and Rihanna was involved in an affair. So presumably, why didn't Jay-Z tell Rihanna he had herpes?

99.9% of me thinks the "Herpes" story is a false line, just another wild hoax that keeps us celebrity lovers fascinated... but herpes and STD's in partnerships is real.

If your partner were to tell you after a year of being together they had herpes what would your initial reaction be?
  • What if they didn't tell you and instead you found out after only be tested?

Would you cause physical or emotional harm to your partner once they came clean or you found out?
  • Do you think they'd cause harm to you if you had caught it from an affair?

I don't think I could ever look at my husband the same if he were to say- Babe, I made a mistake a year ago.. and now I found out I have herpes. Or if instead, I went to the doctor's and they told me I tested positive for herpes and the only explanation would be my spouse. My marriage would be over and my sex life would be destroyed because of my partner's inability to be truthful.

The big question is- if you met someone, you had a strong interest and they told you they had herpes- would you have sex with them?
  • Would herpes prevent you from engaging in physical intimacy with someone you care about?

Do you always wear condoms?
Before my husband, I had a stream of "semi-steady" boyfriends that I kept around for 2 to 3 months. Some of these boyfriends I didn't use condoms with. I had the mentality that "it won't happen to me"... that I was impervious to STD's. Luckily, I never caught anything funky- I never got pregnant either *one time I can thank PCOS*. But I realize after my best friend telling me last year that she had chlamydia (that she contracted from an unfaithful boyfriend) that STD's do in fact exist and that people close to us are at risk.

The most important thing, even if this is all a big hoax, is that it's important to use protection and to be open and honest with our partners. Even if you're into a lifestyle that involves swinging or playing with multiple people it's important to ask for proof that the people you're sharing your bed with are clean. And we still need to remember that some STI's do not immediately show up on test results, some take months to present symptoms.
  • If you're involved in a lifestyle that includes orgies, group sex, or multiple persons do you ask for proof that your partners are clean?
  • Have you ever had sex with multiple people without using condoms? *If you did would you admit it?*
  • If you contracted an STI at a swing-style event, how would it impact the current relationship you have with your spouse/partner?

There's an even bigger picture- STD's are small fish compared to AIDS/HIV... we need to be reminded of our mortality and remember to play safe. Even condoms aren't 100% effective and we're always at risk of contracting a disease so keep your eyes and your ears open. Don't let your heart or your loins lead you down a road where your head screams, "NO!"